Severe Weather Warning

My clothes are both itchy and sticky at the same time. My skin crawls with a salty layer of sweat that I can only describe as incredibly uncomfortable. Summer is in full swing and I am a miserable mess of perspiration. It's supposed to be 97 here right now, but with the humidity it feels like the seventh level of Dante's Inferno (aka hot as hell). My hair has a bed of gel I didn't put in it and my eyes are stinging with tears from my brow. It's hot. It's steamy. It's disgusting.

Now, I don't mind the heat. Nothing better than sprawling out at the beach, wearing shorts, a ratty old (yet trendy because it's ratty and old) T-shirt. The problem is, I am not decked out in beach wear. I'm in the compulsory uniform of the news reporter: The suit. Yeah, I have my sleeves rolled up (I'm a working man of people), my top button unbuttoned and my tie worn loosely, but it's still hot.

I lived in Florida, I've dealt with the heat, but there is no way to get used to this type of torture. I'm sure not even John Yoo would have allowed this torment in the 2003 torture memos. Water boarding, maybe, Maryland summer humidity, not a chance. I think I've sweat 23 out of the 24 hours of this day.

Weather Tease

Here's the problem with my job. It's not really normal. We end up in some of places the average person would never expect, want, need or mean to go. Hurricanes, for instance. My dad was a reporter too, and some of my fondest memories were trips to the beach, but unlike everyone else, we would head to the beach when they would leave. When the meteorologist would say, "batten down the hatches," pop would say gather the kids up, it's time to head to the beach. (maybe I'm over exaggerating a little bit-- we stayed home for the really dangerous ones).

I remember one storm, the weather started out pleasant enough. We were shacked up in an average hotel, at an average beach in average America. I was young enough to enjoy the fact that a storm was coming and old enough recognize the fact it was a big a storm. It's true what they say, there really is a calm before the storm, and sometimes it can be absolutely beautiful. Blue skies opening up to a lightly radiating sunshine. The perfect weather for ice cream.

So the fam decided to walk down the boardwalk (which every beach seems to have), and get ice cream. Nothing better than boardwalk ice cream when you're 6.

When a hurricane is coming you can literally see it roll in. First the wind picks up from a blithe summer breeze to short indignant bursts. The peaceful, open skies are pushed out of the way by the ominous clouds. Then the rain starts. We got back to the hotel before the rain started, but it's incredibly hard to eat ice cream on a cone in gusts of wind that eventually could get up to 80 miles per hour (it was a weak storm) . We were inside the safety of our hotel long before they got that bad, but not before we were completely covered in ice cream. The rest of the storm was pretty uneventful. Dad worked, we watched on TV inside our room.

Since then I've covered several hurricanes, rode around brush fires on ATVs and helicopters, froze in snow storms, and spent all night running around tornado damage. All while my friends sit at home drink, and have hurricane parties. I'm working twelve hour shifts and they get sent home early.

I wouldn't give it up for the world though, who else can say they've been into the eye of a storm?

-- To all three people who might right this, you should check out my friend's blog http://specialagentm.com/ It's hilarious and I'm in it some times--

The Live Intro

I was told, in my live shots, I need to be more edgy. It's a self defining direction, I guess. I'm assuming it means more authority, more presence, more self importance. It's not my style, but I was prescribed this remedy as my path to network and bigger markets. If I want to move up, I need to step up. It's not really my style, it's not really a style I like, but I can kind of understand what this occupational guru is telling me. This occupational guru could be my connection to the next level, so I'm at least trying to do what she says. I have to send her some new samples of my work and she has to approve it.

So I'm mentally scanning the network reporters and anchors in my head to decide who has the most edge and who I can emulate. I scan through the big network three first. Brian Williams, he got the most authority, but not much edge; Charles Gibson just kind of blends in; Katy Couric is about as edgy as the top of Matt Lauer's balding head. Anderson Cooper, he's kind of edgy. He's keeping 'em honest. Confronting the bad guy. Going where no news reporter has gone before. But is that what makes him edgy? His show is definitely edgy, in that it's on the cutting edge of the evolution of the business, but that doesn't make him edgy. I think the edge is an extension of his personality, his physical presence.

That's not really me. I'm laid back, a little more 'everybody has a story' than 'planet in peril' (despite the fact that I mostly do crime stories). But if that's what they want, that's what I'm going to try to do. I actually already started. I thought my live shot today was fucking Ginsu Knives. So much edge it could have cut through a tab cola can.

And of course, nobody back at the station recorded the show...